Carol's new Christmas tree

View from new apartment

Stress

I think I have reached my breaking point with work, and personal life. I just can't seem to get myself out of this funk.
I hate work so much that I think it is making me physically ill. When I'm home for a weekend, and especially a 3 day weekend
like I'm doing this weekend, I start to feel like myself. But I know that tomorrow night I'll be back to feeling yucky.
Then there's my home life and trying to find a new place to move. That is causing stress, as it's hard to first find a place that I can afford and then coordinate everything. The move should happen in November, but I also have to go to PA for a week
in November for work. Another stressor. So what do I do. I'm trying to go to the park for walks and sitting in the sun, but I don't think it's enough. I wish I could get a few months off, to just relax. But that's not going to happen.

Spielberg in the making

Vacation July 2007

Here are some pictures of Pismo Beach area. Had a nice relaxing time. Spent time with my best friend and drank some good wine.

Next week's vacation

Made some changes to where we will be staying next week on vacation

Peanut loves the Mac

Pacifica, CA

Spent yesterday in Pacifica at the Best Western Lighthouse hotel. The weather was beautiful yesterday, no wind and the sun was really warm. Here are some ocean pictures and pictures of the room.

Half Moon Bay Flowers

Yesterday my friend Lynnette took me to breakfast at Buck's restaurant in Woodside, CA and then we drove over to Half Moon Bay and went to the flower show. She bought me these flowers for my birthday. Thanks Lynnette.

A week of change

This has been a very stressful week. All I can say is TGIF !!! The changes going on in my worklife are causing me to be very sad, and wondering "What did I do to deserve this? " I know that question is not valid, but this week I really believe this must be some sort of punishment. All I want to do is go to work, do my job, get paid a decent salary and go home. And now, I'm stuck in this new division with people who don't know what they are doing, having to travel back east for 2 days of meetings and that is just the beginning. Looking for a new job is always an option, but leaving behind the benefits of having 5 weeks of vacation and going back down to 2 weeks and the salaries out there are not equal to what I'm making, and not knowing if the next company I go to, is stable or will I be out of a job in a year.

Transfer is official

Today I received the letter that officially transferred me to a different division at work. The letter was pretty much a form letter and didn't really say very much, except the date of tranfer was on 4/9 and who my new manager is. Then there was documentation obout benefits and other stuff.

By the time I got back to my desk, I had 3 emails from my new manager. I was told she was into process improvements, which raised the hairs on the back of my neck. I have been through so many process improvements that really did nothing to improve the processes, it just made a lot of extra work to document processes and then after spending a month of writing documentation, the binder went on the shelf, never to be used again.

Well, Friday I have a 2 hour conference call training meeting on Six Sigma. Apparently this is all about metrics. You figure out what is wrong with a process, you define what you want to fix, come up with timelines and you measure the improvements. It's a lot of work. So I decided to order this book. Maybe it will give me a clue as to what I'm in for.

Work Prayer

Well it's Sunday evening, and I'm thinking about the work week ahead, and starting to feel depressed. I thought maybe there's a work prayer that I could read as I begin each day. I found this on the internet. Maybe it will help others experiencing stress and anxiety from work.


Lord Jesus, as I enter this work place, I bring your presence with me. I speak Your peace, Your
grace, and Your perfect order into the atmosphere of this office. I acknowledge Your Lordship over all that will be spoken, thought, decided, and accomplished within these walls. Lord Jesus, I thank You for the gifts you have deposited in me. I do not take them lightly but commit to using them responsibly and well. Give me a fresh supply of truth and beauty on which to draw as I do my job.

Anoint my creativity, my ideas, my energy, so that even my smallest task may bring You honor. Lord, when I am confused, guide me. When I am weary, energize me. Lord, when I am burned out,infuse me with the light of the Holy Spirit. May the work that I do and the way I do it, bring hope, life, and courage to all that come in contact with me today. And, Oh Lord, even in this day's most stressful moments, may I rest in You. In the mighty Name that is above all Names, in the Matchless Name of my Lord and Savior Jesus, I pray, Amen.

Half Moon Bay Weekend

Here are some pictures of my weekend in Half Moon Bay. The weather was sort of yucky on Saturday, with fog and rain, but it cleared Saturday night and Sunday was just a beautiful day. Went to church at Holy Family Episcopal Church and then spent some time at the beach.

How to handle a situation with grace

I've been writing a little about my job and the anxiety I feel about the upcoming changes. It's difficult to think that after 16 years, I'll have to report to someone who doesn't know me and is 3000 miles away. I feel like I'm starting a new job. This weekend I'm going to take a mini vacation or maybe I'll call it a retreat. I'm going to the ocean. I have found in the past that the ocean gives me strength. It's where I find God. I was talking to a friend this afternoon and he was saying that he was going to do some writing tonight for a seminar that he is forming. He wants to write about Grace. When I was driving home from work, I was thinking about that word Grace. I wonder how do I accept this change at work and other changes that are going on in my life with Grace? I hope this weekend, I'll be able to leave the anger, sadness, anxiety and all the other negative feelings at the ocean, and accept change with Grace. I don't really know where to begin, but maybe something will come to me, when I'm reflecting on this at the ocean.

Pigeon Point Lighthouse

I hope to visit here this weekend and take some pictures of the lighthouse.

Half Moon Bay Lodge

I'll be staying here on Saturday night and going to Easter Sunday Service in Half Moon Bay. Thanks Victor for the suggestion. Click on title for link to see the hotel.

No News

Well last Friday was suppose to be the day that I received a letter telling me about my transfer, but that didn't happen. Today I told my boss that if they wanted this to happen by next Monday they should be telling people soon. My boss told me that the transfer was effective today !!! Go figure.... So I have no idea who I report to. If it's true that the transfer was effective today then I now have a new manager, but I don't know who that person is. It's so typical for this company. They treat their employees like crap. Now I've heard that those of us who are being transferred are going to lose access to certain valuable functions in the computer system. Another way for upper management to play the "us vs them" game. So they are going to make it as difficult as they can for the new group to get the job done. Then when it falls apart, management can blame us the workers.

This whole process has made me really angry, sad, stressed, and I'm having a hard time dealing with it all.

The Unknown

I think the most difficult part of knowing that a change is coming is not knowing exactly how it will affect you. I've been told that I am being transferred to another division at work, but I don't know exactly how this change will affect me. I know that I will have a new manager, which I don't want. I have a great manager right now. Someone I've worked with for about 13 years. My new manager will be across the country and she doesn't have any experience in what we do. I don't know what the benefits will be, like healthcare vacation, etc. I do know that there are some decisions being made that are setting us up to fail. And that really bothers me. The politics in this company are unbelievable. I'm trying to leave this at work and not think or dwell on it over the weekend. But tonight it's not easy to let it go.

Meditation

I am trying to learn how to meditate on good things. I'm starting with a sunset at the ocean. Since the ocean is where I find peace and strength, I thought it would be a good thing to meditate on. So the other day I spent some time thinking about a sunset at the beach, and how that made me feel. It brought me a sense of peace. Maybe this picture will help others to see the beauty of a sunset at the ocean, and you too will find a moment of peace.

Pismo Beach Tree and Ocean

I love this lone tree overlooking the ocean. Taken at Pismo Beach, CA

Peanut on the couch

Well this is something new this week. Peanut waits for me to come home and she wants me to put her on the couch. There she stays for the evening.

Wine Warehouse fire

Mar. 19 - KGO - A local wine distributor is now charged with a hundred-million-dollar cover-up after a huge fire at a North Bay warehouse.

The U.S. Attorney says the suspect Mark Anderson had ties to the Wine Central warehouse.

The Sausalito wine entrepreneur rented space here to store wine for his clients.

McGregor Scott, U.S. Attorney Eastern Districts: "However, instead of storing the wines, Mr. Anderson sold and attempted to sell the wine without his clients' permission, all for his own personal gain."

Authorities say Anderson torched the warehouse to cover up the thefts of his clients' wines.

The huge facility contained 500,000 cases of wines, worth more than $100 million dollars. The loss included wines from some 90 wineries. Some smaller ones almost lost their entire inventory. Decades-old vintage wines from 40 private collections were also destroyed.

A federal grand jury indicted Anderson last Thursday. He was arrested Friday.

ABC7 caught the 58-year-old suspect late last year at a restaurant party near his home in Sausalito.

Investigators say Anderson was at the warehouse on the day of the fire. Something else that aroused their suspicions was the fact that Anderson had already been charged by Marin County authorities with embezzlement, they say for stealing his clients' wines.

Scott Paulin, Sausalito Police Chief: "One of the victims came forward initially reporting that 90 percent of their wine storage was missing and that led us to 10 other victims that have now come forward."

The ATF's Stephen Martin says Anderson, if convicted, faces a long prison term.

Stephen Martin, ATF Special Agent in Charge: "This is what happens when a motivated arsonist takes something as simple as a flame and he plans a violent attack on people's livelihood for his personal gain."

The federal grand jury returned a 19-count indictment against Anderson, charges which include arson, fraud and tax evasion. He was arraigned today in federal court.

Best Western Lighthouse Hotel, Pacifica CA

105 Rockaway Beach Avenue Pacifica, California, 94044-3253, United States
Phone: 650-355-6300

Business and leisure travelers enjoy luxurious accommodations at this San Francisco area hotel!Deluxe amenities, a great location and friendly service are all found at the... More Hotel Information >




I'll be staying here on April 24th.

Peanut's new bed

Bought this bed for Peanut at Walmart for 10.00 this weekend. She seems to really like it.

My first apartment in CA

Here's a picture of the first place I lived when I moved to CA in 1978. My brother Marcel and I rented a furnished apartment here in Santa Clara, CA.

Testing new blogger

Well, I didn't have a choice anymore. I had to change to the new Blogger. So this is a test to see if it works

Good news

A couple of weeks ago a friend was told she had breast cancer. This was told to her prior to a biopsy being done. Today we received the best news. She does not have cancer.

When I first heard the news, I asked people to pray for her. I prayed so hard for the past 2 weeks and this morning at work, it's all I could think of. Somewhere along the way, I got really angry, because I knew that God wouldn't answer my prayer. I wanted a miracle, and I knew in my heart that wouldn't happen. Then I found out that my prayer had been answered, and it just brought a flood of emotions. I was so happy that my friend was ok. But then I was upset with myself that I didn't believe that God would answer my prayer. Then I wondered why do I pray if I don't believe. I've even said to myself that God didn't answer my prayer, he answered everyone else's prayer. I just got lucky that my prayer was the same as theirs.

I try really hard to believe that God does love me enough to say yes, but there's still a part of me that doesn't believe that.
Maybe someday I will

Shouldn't have eaten those jalapeno peppers

Watsonville

Spent the day in Watsonville, visiting with Jen and Jeff at a beach house they were renting. It is a beautiful house and
today was just beautiful at the beach. We sat outside on the deck in the sun and it was actually warm in the sun. Here
are some pictures from the deck. There were even some Purple Power Flowers in the dunes right in front of the deck.