I really hate myself today. I hate the feelings I have. I have a difficult time hearing that friends or family members are going on vacation. I have a difficult time because I know that I can't go anywhere or do anything fun. At least not anytime soon. I'm having a hard time dealing with all of my health issues right now. I want my life back. I want to do more than just drive down the street and then come home because it's all I can do. I want my friends to enjoy their vacation. They work so hard and deserve to get away and relax and have fun. I really am happy for them, and I hope they can forgive me for having these feelings of jealousy because they can go somewhere and I can't.
1 comment:
Of course we forgive you but there is really no need to be forgiven you are only longing for life and love that you so recently had and the cancer is robing you of. Joy is hard to come by when your in pain and all I think you really want to do is hang out with US your friends and community and have a glass of fay and laugh with purple power flowers at your feet. WE do love you and all of your feeling seem normal to me. I am so proud of you for writing them down. Lets talk soon your bro. Im not a priest in the sense of how the church sees me but I really believe you are a blessing and I bless you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirt and pray that you will be give the grace to move and press on even though you are in pain. May you sense His hand upon you.
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