Great America Fireworks May 25,2008

Watched the fireworks from the living room window. Used the Flip video recorder. Click on title to go to YouTube to watch video

Cobalt Blue Yarn

Well I didn't think I would be able to find Cobalt Blue yarn to knit an afghan for Victor, but I did. I ordered it tonight, can't wait to get the yarn so I can make the afghan for him. The picture shows you the yarn that I bought.

Monterey Sunset

Purple Power Flower

Goofy Victor

At the tuxedo shop

Pismo Beach

Pismo Beach Sunset

Dreaming about catnip

Purple Power Flower Podcasts

Click title to see a couple of Purple Power Flower podcasts I did a year ago.

Catnip

My cat loves catnip, so here's some information on the herb.

How does catnip work?

"Catnip" is the common name for a perennial herb of the mint family. It is native to Europe and is an import to the United States and other countries. The catnip plant is now a widespread weed in North America.

Given to the right cat, catnip can cause an amazing reaction! The cat will rub it, roll over it, kick at it, and generally go nuts for several minutes. Then the cat will lose interest and walk away. Two hours later, the cat may come back and have exactly the same response.

Because there really isn't any scent that causes this sort of reaction in humans, catnip is hard for us to understand. However, it is not an uncommon behavior in animals that rely heavily on their noses. For example, there are many scents that will trigger intense hunting behavior in dogs, and other scents will cause dogs to stop in their tracks and roll all over the scent.

Although no one knows exactly what happens in the cat's brain, it is known that the chemical nepetalactone in catnip is the thing that triggers the response. Apparently, it somehow kicks off a stereotypical pattern in cats that are sensitive to the chemical. The catnip reaction is inherited, and some cats are totally unaffected by it. Large cats like tigers can be sensitive to it as well.

The reaction to catnip only lasts a few minutes. Then the cat acclimates to it, and it can take an hour or two away from catnip for the cat to "reset." Then, the same reaction can occur again. Very young kittens and older cats seem less likely to have a reaction to catnip.

Schmap guide accepted my photo

Schmap guide accepted my photo for publication in their recent online guide. Click on title above to go to Schmap and see the photo.

Cane

Here's a picture of my cane. Who knew at 53 years old, I would own a cane and have to use it.

Flip video

I got this today. It's a Flip video recorder. I heard about it on the radio. They were talking about it as a great Mother's day gift because it's so easy to use. Software features include:
Browse, play and delete your videos.
Save your videos to your computer.
Make custom movies with music.
Capture photos from your video.
Share your videos online or by email.
Upload your videos to AOL or YouTube.

I'll try it out this weekend and put something on YouTube

Relay walk

Each year my sister-in-law does a Cancer relay walk. She helps to raise money for cancer research. I asked her if she was collecting donations as I had not heard from her like I usually do. She sent me the following email. I think it sweet that she is dedicating her walk to me. Here is a portion of her email:

Each year I dedicate my walk to someone. My first year was Gerry...aco-worker who is a 12 year stage 4 breast cancer survivor. Second yearwas Sandy Thomas, a co-worker who died of stomach/pancreatic cancer that year. Third year was my sister-in-law LInda's sister who reached her 5 year milestone as an ovarian cancer survivor. This year, I dedicate my walk to YOU. I know you are battling more than cancer but you are an example of courage and perseverance. Most people, including me, don't really know what you are going through. We can be there to incourage,to help, to do whatever, but we are not the ones who have to live it.Keep fighting Charlene. Be agressive with your treatments. When you feel able have the bone marrow test. Do whatever you need to do to get better because the world needs you and we need you. Hopefully, the small amount of money I collect when added to the money others collect will fund research that will improve treatments for cancer. Today inthe breakroom there is a poster about a spaghetti supper being held to raise money for a 4 year old girl who has neuroblastoma. No child should have to go through this.

Feelings

I really hate myself today. I hate the feelings I have. I have a difficult time hearing that friends or family members are going on vacation. I have a difficult time because I know that I can't go anywhere or do anything fun. At least not anytime soon. I'm having a hard time dealing with all of my health issues right now. I want my life back. I want to do more than just drive down the street and then come home because it's all I can do. I want my friends to enjoy their vacation. They work so hard and deserve to get away and relax and have fun. I really am happy for them, and I hope they can forgive me for having these feelings of jealousy because they can go somewhere and I can't.

Misty was blessed

Today Rev Kate came over to visit and give me communion. We had a nice visit and after she gives me communion, she usually annoints my head with oil and does a healing blessing. Well before she did that, she took some oil and went over to Misty and put some oil on her head and blessed Misty. I thought that was so nice. She said since Misty missed the blessing of the animals service that she needed to be blessed. Misty loved the whole thing.

Victor playing on golf course

Click on title to watch video. This comment was left on YouTube

Ive watched this now a couple of times. its odd in a freaky hippy way, but its also got a certain quality about it that sort of dominates.

oh well.

Bodega Bay water

Click on title above to watch video

Blankets

Here's a picture of the baby blankets I've made so far. I will probably give them to the mission in San Jose, Ca

Schmapp list

This photo is being considered by Schmap for publication in their list of places to visit to be publised at the end of May. This picture was taken at the Japanese Friendship Garden in San Jose CA

Wound Center

Today I went to the wound center so they could check my legs to make sure everything was ok. They said that what I was seeing was ok. It's doing what it's suppose to do. They also finally admitted that they have never seen any wounds like this before. That was so discouraging to hear. They were also surprised to hear that the wounds are still so painful that I can't sleep in my bed. That made me realize how they are just like everyone else. They have no idea what it's like to have these wounds. So I came home and just cried. I don't know what else to do. I've been trying so hard to be strong and deal with this the best I can, but it just isn't enough. After 4 months, I would hope to hear that I'm at least half way to the healing point. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

I guess that's enough complaining for today.

I don't understand

Tonight when I changed the dressings on my legs, I noticed a change that doesn't look good. I called the wound clinic and left a message so they will get it first thing in the morning. I just don't understand why they won't heal. Right now i'm scared and I can't stop crying. I don't think anyone really knows what I am going through. It's so hard and I don't know how to keep going. I just wish something good would happen with my leg wounds.

Misty and the toilet

She is fascinated with the water flushing. Where did all the poop go???????

Cleaning lady Part 2

Well I think I could get use to being a princess and having people do things for me. The cleaning lady came today and it was so nice to just sit and knit while she cleaned the bathroom, kitchen and bedroom. Here are some pictures of my newly decorated bathroom. It's really pretty with all the pastel colors.

Red Rose

Beautiful red rose found at Filoli gardens a couple of years ago

PacMan

Do you remember the good old days of Pacman? Well I'm addicted to the online game that I found. Click the title and it will take you to the Pacman game and it's free

Ocean Video

My best friend Victor Tarassov created an ocean video today that is really beautiful to watch. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Click on the title above to view it.

Cleaning lady

Why is it when you hire someone to clean your house/apt, you spend the day before she comes cleaning? When people would tell me they were cleaning their house because the cleaning lady was coming the next day, I would always find that amusing.
Well I hired someone to clean my apt. She'll be here tomorrow. I spent most of the afternoon cleaning...........Go figure..........

Restless

Tonight is one of those nights where I just can't get comfortable. I'm in pain, I'm crying and it's nights like this when I feel so alone. It's nights like this when I wish there was someone here to offer me some comfort or to just be here. I know God is with me, but sometimes I just need the presence of a person. Someone God has sent to bring me some comfort. A hug right now would feel good.

It's just one of those nights and it will pass and tomorrow is another day. Hopefully I will see my friend Lynnette tomorrow and she will take me to the Lazy Boy store so I can look and hopefully buy a recliner chair.

That's it for tonight.

iLap

Here's Misty in the iLap box

Me and Misty

Not a great picture of me, but Misty looks cute.

Reindeer Games

I was just talking to a co-worker and she was telling me about a meeting that will be held in PA. If I was well and working I would be getting ready to go to this meeting in early May. I wish I was well, so I could go and then spend some time with my dear friends Victor and Kathy who live in New Jersey. My co-worker was telling me that our manager has scheduled a day of "Reindeer games" for one of the meeting days. No one knows what that means, and they are all a little worried about what they will have to do. She said she would call me when it's over to tell me about it. She said she would be calling from the bar, where she will be having a few "adult beverages"!!!

Angels watching over us

The other night as I was sitting in my chair trying to fall asleep, I was in so much pain from the ulcers in my legs. I have been
dealing with this for 4 months and not sure how much longer it will take for the ulcers to heal. I was crying and asked God for help. My prayer went something like this: "God, I need your help. Could you please take this pain away. If you don't have time tonight, maybe you could send me one of your angels, or even an angel in training to come and help take away the pain." I remember thinking that this prayer was probably not the way I should ask God for help, but it was all I could do. I closed my eyes and minutes later I didn't feel the pain anymore. I knew right away that God had heard my prayer and sent me an angel to help me.

No matter how you pray, always know that God hears what is in your heart and he will always love you and take care of you.

Misty loves to sleep

Misty gets comfortable

Misty

Meet Misty. She is a 4 year old Ragdoll cat. I got her on Sunday 4/13/08. She already knows she is queen of the castle.
She's very mellow and loves to rub up against me and wants to be loved. I have always wanted a kitty with blue eyes, and
she has beautiful blue eyes. I'm sure there will be many more pictures to post as she gets use to her new home.

Carol's new Christmas tree

View from new apartment

Stress

I think I have reached my breaking point with work, and personal life. I just can't seem to get myself out of this funk.
I hate work so much that I think it is making me physically ill. When I'm home for a weekend, and especially a 3 day weekend
like I'm doing this weekend, I start to feel like myself. But I know that tomorrow night I'll be back to feeling yucky.
Then there's my home life and trying to find a new place to move. That is causing stress, as it's hard to first find a place that I can afford and then coordinate everything. The move should happen in November, but I also have to go to PA for a week
in November for work. Another stressor. So what do I do. I'm trying to go to the park for walks and sitting in the sun, but I don't think it's enough. I wish I could get a few months off, to just relax. But that's not going to happen.

Spielberg in the making

Vacation July 2007

Here are some pictures of Pismo Beach area. Had a nice relaxing time. Spent time with my best friend and drank some good wine.

Next week's vacation

Made some changes to where we will be staying next week on vacation

Peanut loves the Mac