Misty and the toilet

She is fascinated with the water flushing. Where did all the poop go???????

Cleaning lady Part 2

Well I think I could get use to being a princess and having people do things for me. The cleaning lady came today and it was so nice to just sit and knit while she cleaned the bathroom, kitchen and bedroom. Here are some pictures of my newly decorated bathroom. It's really pretty with all the pastel colors.

Red Rose

Beautiful red rose found at Filoli gardens a couple of years ago

PacMan

Do you remember the good old days of Pacman? Well I'm addicted to the online game that I found. Click the title and it will take you to the Pacman game and it's free

Ocean Video

My best friend Victor Tarassov created an ocean video today that is really beautiful to watch. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Click on the title above to view it.

Cleaning lady

Why is it when you hire someone to clean your house/apt, you spend the day before she comes cleaning? When people would tell me they were cleaning their house because the cleaning lady was coming the next day, I would always find that amusing.
Well I hired someone to clean my apt. She'll be here tomorrow. I spent most of the afternoon cleaning...........Go figure..........

Restless

Tonight is one of those nights where I just can't get comfortable. I'm in pain, I'm crying and it's nights like this when I feel so alone. It's nights like this when I wish there was someone here to offer me some comfort or to just be here. I know God is with me, but sometimes I just need the presence of a person. Someone God has sent to bring me some comfort. A hug right now would feel good.

It's just one of those nights and it will pass and tomorrow is another day. Hopefully I will see my friend Lynnette tomorrow and she will take me to the Lazy Boy store so I can look and hopefully buy a recliner chair.

That's it for tonight.

iLap

Here's Misty in the iLap box

Me and Misty

Not a great picture of me, but Misty looks cute.

Reindeer Games

I was just talking to a co-worker and she was telling me about a meeting that will be held in PA. If I was well and working I would be getting ready to go to this meeting in early May. I wish I was well, so I could go and then spend some time with my dear friends Victor and Kathy who live in New Jersey. My co-worker was telling me that our manager has scheduled a day of "Reindeer games" for one of the meeting days. No one knows what that means, and they are all a little worried about what they will have to do. She said she would call me when it's over to tell me about it. She said she would be calling from the bar, where she will be having a few "adult beverages"!!!

Angels watching over us

The other night as I was sitting in my chair trying to fall asleep, I was in so much pain from the ulcers in my legs. I have been
dealing with this for 4 months and not sure how much longer it will take for the ulcers to heal. I was crying and asked God for help. My prayer went something like this: "God, I need your help. Could you please take this pain away. If you don't have time tonight, maybe you could send me one of your angels, or even an angel in training to come and help take away the pain." I remember thinking that this prayer was probably not the way I should ask God for help, but it was all I could do. I closed my eyes and minutes later I didn't feel the pain anymore. I knew right away that God had heard my prayer and sent me an angel to help me.

No matter how you pray, always know that God hears what is in your heart and he will always love you and take care of you.

Misty loves to sleep

Misty gets comfortable

Misty

Meet Misty. She is a 4 year old Ragdoll cat. I got her on Sunday 4/13/08. She already knows she is queen of the castle.
She's very mellow and loves to rub up against me and wants to be loved. I have always wanted a kitty with blue eyes, and
she has beautiful blue eyes. I'm sure there will be many more pictures to post as she gets use to her new home.

Carol's new Christmas tree

View from new apartment

Stress

I think I have reached my breaking point with work, and personal life. I just can't seem to get myself out of this funk.
I hate work so much that I think it is making me physically ill. When I'm home for a weekend, and especially a 3 day weekend
like I'm doing this weekend, I start to feel like myself. But I know that tomorrow night I'll be back to feeling yucky.
Then there's my home life and trying to find a new place to move. That is causing stress, as it's hard to first find a place that I can afford and then coordinate everything. The move should happen in November, but I also have to go to PA for a week
in November for work. Another stressor. So what do I do. I'm trying to go to the park for walks and sitting in the sun, but I don't think it's enough. I wish I could get a few months off, to just relax. But that's not going to happen.

Spielberg in the making

Vacation July 2007

Here are some pictures of Pismo Beach area. Had a nice relaxing time. Spent time with my best friend and drank some good wine.

Next week's vacation

Made some changes to where we will be staying next week on vacation

Peanut loves the Mac

Pacifica, CA

Spent yesterday in Pacifica at the Best Western Lighthouse hotel. The weather was beautiful yesterday, no wind and the sun was really warm. Here are some ocean pictures and pictures of the room.

Half Moon Bay Flowers

Yesterday my friend Lynnette took me to breakfast at Buck's restaurant in Woodside, CA and then we drove over to Half Moon Bay and went to the flower show. She bought me these flowers for my birthday. Thanks Lynnette.

A week of change

This has been a very stressful week. All I can say is TGIF !!! The changes going on in my worklife are causing me to be very sad, and wondering "What did I do to deserve this? " I know that question is not valid, but this week I really believe this must be some sort of punishment. All I want to do is go to work, do my job, get paid a decent salary and go home. And now, I'm stuck in this new division with people who don't know what they are doing, having to travel back east for 2 days of meetings and that is just the beginning. Looking for a new job is always an option, but leaving behind the benefits of having 5 weeks of vacation and going back down to 2 weeks and the salaries out there are not equal to what I'm making, and not knowing if the next company I go to, is stable or will I be out of a job in a year.

Transfer is official

Today I received the letter that officially transferred me to a different division at work. The letter was pretty much a form letter and didn't really say very much, except the date of tranfer was on 4/9 and who my new manager is. Then there was documentation obout benefits and other stuff.

By the time I got back to my desk, I had 3 emails from my new manager. I was told she was into process improvements, which raised the hairs on the back of my neck. I have been through so many process improvements that really did nothing to improve the processes, it just made a lot of extra work to document processes and then after spending a month of writing documentation, the binder went on the shelf, never to be used again.

Well, Friday I have a 2 hour conference call training meeting on Six Sigma. Apparently this is all about metrics. You figure out what is wrong with a process, you define what you want to fix, come up with timelines and you measure the improvements. It's a lot of work. So I decided to order this book. Maybe it will give me a clue as to what I'm in for.

Work Prayer

Well it's Sunday evening, and I'm thinking about the work week ahead, and starting to feel depressed. I thought maybe there's a work prayer that I could read as I begin each day. I found this on the internet. Maybe it will help others experiencing stress and anxiety from work.


Lord Jesus, as I enter this work place, I bring your presence with me. I speak Your peace, Your
grace, and Your perfect order into the atmosphere of this office. I acknowledge Your Lordship over all that will be spoken, thought, decided, and accomplished within these walls. Lord Jesus, I thank You for the gifts you have deposited in me. I do not take them lightly but commit to using them responsibly and well. Give me a fresh supply of truth and beauty on which to draw as I do my job.

Anoint my creativity, my ideas, my energy, so that even my smallest task may bring You honor. Lord, when I am confused, guide me. When I am weary, energize me. Lord, when I am burned out,infuse me with the light of the Holy Spirit. May the work that I do and the way I do it, bring hope, life, and courage to all that come in contact with me today. And, Oh Lord, even in this day's most stressful moments, may I rest in You. In the mighty Name that is above all Names, in the Matchless Name of my Lord and Savior Jesus, I pray, Amen.

Half Moon Bay Weekend

Here are some pictures of my weekend in Half Moon Bay. The weather was sort of yucky on Saturday, with fog and rain, but it cleared Saturday night and Sunday was just a beautiful day. Went to church at Holy Family Episcopal Church and then spent some time at the beach.

How to handle a situation with grace

I've been writing a little about my job and the anxiety I feel about the upcoming changes. It's difficult to think that after 16 years, I'll have to report to someone who doesn't know me and is 3000 miles away. I feel like I'm starting a new job. This weekend I'm going to take a mini vacation or maybe I'll call it a retreat. I'm going to the ocean. I have found in the past that the ocean gives me strength. It's where I find God. I was talking to a friend this afternoon and he was saying that he was going to do some writing tonight for a seminar that he is forming. He wants to write about Grace. When I was driving home from work, I was thinking about that word Grace. I wonder how do I accept this change at work and other changes that are going on in my life with Grace? I hope this weekend, I'll be able to leave the anger, sadness, anxiety and all the other negative feelings at the ocean, and accept change with Grace. I don't really know where to begin, but maybe something will come to me, when I'm reflecting on this at the ocean.

Pigeon Point Lighthouse

I hope to visit here this weekend and take some pictures of the lighthouse.

Half Moon Bay Lodge

I'll be staying here on Saturday night and going to Easter Sunday Service in Half Moon Bay. Thanks Victor for the suggestion. Click on title for link to see the hotel.

No News

Well last Friday was suppose to be the day that I received a letter telling me about my transfer, but that didn't happen. Today I told my boss that if they wanted this to happen by next Monday they should be telling people soon. My boss told me that the transfer was effective today !!! Go figure.... So I have no idea who I report to. If it's true that the transfer was effective today then I now have a new manager, but I don't know who that person is. It's so typical for this company. They treat their employees like crap. Now I've heard that those of us who are being transferred are going to lose access to certain valuable functions in the computer system. Another way for upper management to play the "us vs them" game. So they are going to make it as difficult as they can for the new group to get the job done. Then when it falls apart, management can blame us the workers.

This whole process has made me really angry, sad, stressed, and I'm having a hard time dealing with it all.